Daemons again...

I have a couple questions about daemons. Firstly, In the first book Lyra explains to us how it is unacceptable to speak to or touch another person's daemon. But in the second book Pan talks to Will, and Mrs. Coulter's monkey strokes the old guy's snake when she's trying to seduce him (I can't believe I just said that). So, is it really that it's 'unacceptable', or is it actually very intimate, so at Lyra's age she was taught that it was unacceptable (like sex would be for children), but as she ages and becomes interested in Will she realizes that it is an act of intimacy rather than inappropriate, and you need to be old enought to understand/experience this.

Also, do daemons eat? I assumed no, but then they describe Mrs. Coulter's monkey in the second book picking the seeds out of the pinecone. It seems to imply it was eating them, although it doesn't actually say it was eating them. They are physical manifestations, they can attack and move things, and can be hurt, but they disappear when they or their person dies, whereas the person's body remains after death.